So, what do you bring to the table?

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.” ― Shannon L. Alder

Written by Kathryn Strembitsky

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Self worth is characterized as an inward sense of being deserving of others' love and belonging.

If you were a child who had to learn to earn love and attention—if it wasn't the default—by doing something, it felt like a transaction because you assumed you had to earn it. This consequently leads to the now grown adults feeling as if they must do something in order to be worthy of love. Believing that all relationships are built on this business notion fosters a negative perception that who you are is not enough inherently.

Being raised following toxic masculinity norms of being dominant and in control, and being the sole provider of money results in many men internalizing the belief that a relationship is an exchange of goods.

Transactional relationships are doomed relationships. The perception of women with the posed question, "What can you do for me, if I do this for you?" is a problem for many young potential partners nowadays. Instead of valuing the actual, authentic connection that distinguishes mindful, real relationships, they are putting their own self-interest first. Believing that because you have money or a high-standing career, a woman must provide something to "earn the privilege" of you sharing your prestigious status can lead to harbored resentment or anger. A subconscious tally of who has done what for who can spiral into disappointment if one partner doesn’t live up to the expectations of an unspoken contract. The significance of the connection should be greater than the importance of the transaction itself.

To answer the question, women bring nothing to the table.

Love cannot be quantified. There is no amount of value that can be placed on someone who is willing to give without expecting anything in return. A relationship invests in a life-long partner and friend, a soulmate, someone who cares for you unconditionally. These connections allow you to learn and grow and truly form relationships that will last lifetimes.

Remember that your essence and energy can uplift your partner to become the best version of themselves. It’s very easy to get caught up in the superficial standards created by men who attribute your worth to how much you can give them. Remember that no one can put any value on your love, generosity, and compassion. You are worthy of being loved.

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